Very Merry Christmas to You...

Christmas time. Candles and angels. Carols near the Christmas tree, full of sparkling tinsels... The smell of sprus, smell of my Mum's cakes, smell of Christmas... This year no snow, but I don't mind. Christmas time is about something else... maybe I lost this feeling a bit, but I still remember what it meant for me when I was a child. How much I waited for the First Star, wishes, Santa Claus. How wonderful it was to gather in my grandma's house, all together, with my Mum's brother and sister with their families... It is a bit different now. We are in my place, just the 6 of us - my Parents, Grandparents and my Brother. And this is enough to make that time special. Magic. With angels in the air, that you can almost see if you really want to... Time with your family, time when you can start everything from the very beginning. Time filled with Love and Hope and Faith. I wish you all very Merry Christmas... To those that are here in Poland, those in Finland and other parts of Europe, those in Asia, and those travelling through South America. Wish you all warm feelings those days, that grow in your Hearts and remind you of the Christmas Spirit wherever you are. It is so easy to lose it nowadays. Let's not forget what are Christmas for... The are just for us and people close to us. To let them know we care. Christmas are special, because we make them special.
I have my Angels on the Christmas Tree. And I will make them Guardian Angels for You...

Important weekend

I want to tell you about one weekend that was really important for me. Last weekend. Weekend in a house in the middle of nowhere, with a group of people I have never seen before and that now are like friends for me... Maybe our ways will lead us into different directions, but they have a place in my heart now.
We were there participants of interpersonal training, part of the trainers' school. Having some expectations, we were not prepared, and we didn't expect what we were given there, what we gained...
Time of jokes, laughter, darkness (well, the light was inside us, candles and fireplace... with the electric there were some problems), joy and tears in the same time. I got to know more about me, and about the people that were sharing this weekend with me there. We shared something important there, and I believe I have discovered really precious people. I want to thank them once again for being. I appreciate every single word that was said there, it made me think, and made me FEEL.
I cannot tell you exactly what happened there, not only because I promised, but first of all, because I am still not sure. I felt what happened, I still can feel it somewhere inside me, but I'm not able to talk about it... Just cannot find words. I can just tell you that I have this energy inside me, that shines like a sun. And that I believe that the "only thing you HAVE TO is to DIE, but even here I am not sure, just that the statistics are pessimistic" :)
Want to leave you with one sentence here today. You can give others only as much of happiness as much of it you have inside you!

Waiting for the perfect man...

I received that picture few weeks ago, and I find it so true! So funny at the beginning, and so true... Perfect man... You can wait and wait and wait... Because perfect man does not exist!! Has anyone seen a perfect guy? :) Not possible :) They drink too much beer, grow their belly, are lazy, stubborn and want to be Mr. Right, which first name turns out to be "Always" ;) Ok ok, calm down... I was just kidding! :) Maybe not in everything... ;P

But there is something more... "man" means also... human... It is about us! We have our disadvantages, bad sides, something that makes others crazy :) We are just who we are...We do make mistake. We do hurt others. We are sometimes not faithful, not only to others, but worst that to ourselves! We are only human beings. And maybe this is enough.
If people are not perfect, does it mean that "the perfect man" does not exist? I don't agree with that... I believe that there are perfect people... Perfect for us. For me there is someone else perfect then for you. It does not mean that he is perfect in general, but that is ideal just for me... Finding out his bad sides might be annoying, but those are going to be the things I am going to miss when he is far away... Why perfect then? Because, although I have to learn to live with those annoying features, I have to accept that, argue a bit, and so on... this is still something I am able to live with... This is the person I love and want to spend the rest of my life with. I have heard once... "You respect others for their good sides, but you love them for the bad ones". And I believe it is true.
There is a perfect person, created for me, and one created for you. The second half of the apple... but you have to work on it, discover it every day. It is about something more then superficial agreement. If we look in the same direction, have the same values, a small fight from time to time "about the dishes" is good. It makes us learn how to solve the problems. Conflicts are not bad, but the way we solve them is important. They can teach us much more about the second person, and about us, they create life between,they make us grow up... Every little thing that lives is moving. Argument means movement as well... Of course it depends about what we fight... But as I said - if we have the common goal, which is living together, and love, let's be imperfect. It will make us, him/her and our life together a bit more interesting... " Indifference is worse then fight. Where is no love, no feeling, no caring, there are no agruments"

So I am moving from that bench. I am not waiting for the perfect man. I am going to live my dream. So I wish the same to all of you! :)

When there is some snow behind the window and you sit in the warm place...

YES! We have snow... very very wet now, sometimes what is coming from above is a mixture of snow and rain, but it is white outside... and it makes me feel both happy and melancholic...
I have in my head one image... I wish I could go in the middle of the night to the middle of the lake, with a friend by my side, and do some iceskating with the millions of stars twinkling above my head. And then stand there for a while, when you have that magical Northern Lights, those rays of green on that darn, navy blue sky... Hearing the craking of ice far away, and realising that it is freeezing, but you feel warm inside. Having a walk back to the warm room and warm cup of minttu chocolate... It is a dream this evening...
I remember so well sledging, iceskating and snow fights with friends. First Mrs. Snowman made on a way back home one January night, another snowman in the middle of the lake, wishes on the bridge, that came true (a warning, you have to be prepared for what you wish, it might come true!). I remember the sledging with my friends from work or from dormitory :) I remember lessons of iceskating,with very patient teachers :) And Northern Lights, when I was so much impressed, that I locked my key :) And the walk to the view point in Lapland, when the snow was so big I could barely walk ;)
I remember when my Father was taking me and my brother, and few kids from the neighbourhood on the sledge, and was pulling us behind the car... We had so much fun then, although my Mum was telling us to shut our mouth in order not to breathe the cold air :) And I remember that we were making snow angels in front of the house so that we could see it through the window :) the snowfights with friends, boys waiting after school (I was coming back home sooo late...)... all the snowmen... And the first tries on the skies... and those a bit later :)
I have all those memories back when I see the snow behind my window. And so many more... with so many faces behind, from my childhood, youth, and a bit later youth ;)
And now? I know I will go to make a snowman. Soon. With some of my friends... We will roll in snow and laugh and then come back to have a cup of hot tea. And we are going to be kids again :) And I wish that for you too... to feel that pure joy of creating something, of doing something you can only do once in a while... I wish you ... happy snowmen!!!

After 5 years...what happened to my schoolmates...

On Friday we had the meeting with my schoolmates from highschool. Pub called "The library", full of cigarettes' smoke, a little bit dark... And we - after five years. Five long years we did not see each other, contact each other... Somehow we made our ways in a different dirrections in life... I see maybe three people from my school regularly. About maybe two more I know what they are doing. We tried to keep in touch with more, but it simply didn't work out. With some, I never had a good contact, so it faded away immediately... And now...
When I went to the table, there were only 4 of them... And two of them I barely recognised! They changed so much, grew up... I would pass them by on the street probably not even noticing that that face is familiar. Actually about one of my friends at the beginning I though was "an avec"!!! :) Then few more came, and we started talking about us... I noticed some of my friends haven't changed. They still laugh in the same way as before, have exactly the same way of talking, they just do a bit more serious things in life... few have already graduated, few still study... and we all have been abroad for longer then 4 months... we exchanged information about the colleagues that were not present, because they live somewhere else, far away in other countries, or a bit closer, or because they had something else to do. We waited so much for the information if we already have "our first kid" :) The answer is "yes we do!" :) there are very few married ones, many are in long-term relationships, some still singles :) So in a way we did grew up, in some we are still the same kids we were before... maybe there is still not many things we have in common, but for sure there is something we share. Time we spent together. Memories. Part of our youth...